When giving feedback it is important to have a balance of positive and constructive feedback otherwise the receiver may feel that they only ever receive one type of feedback. It is also important not to always link the two, especially in the same conversation - giving with one hand and taking away with the other.

Build an environment in which feedback is welcomed. This may take time if it’s not something that has been practised before. Try to give positive feedback whenever you can - this will help to build trust and make the person more comfortable when you need to give constructive feedback.

Giving good/effective feedback:

Be timely. Don’t leave it too long after the event to provide any form of feedback. Give feedback as soon as possible, otherwise the effectiveness of the communication will be lost.

Be aware of your body language, tone and the words that you use when giving feedback. Don’t use confrontational words or tone even if it’s likely to be a tough conversation. Be direct, open and honest.

Consider their frame of reference - it may be different from yours, which will affect the message that they receive. What are their values, attitudes and experiences?

Here are four steps to follow when giving feedback:

Be specific. What are the facts as you see them? Describe the specific situation with facts, events and behaviours that you observed. What specifically was said or done?

Your thoughts. What impact has the action had on other people, the business or you generally? What are your thoughts, opinions or conclusions as a result of the action? Remember they are your thoughts so state this - “I think that …”. Link what you observed to what you thought.

Your feelings. How do you feel about this situation (NOT about the individual) - frustrated, disappointed, pleased - “I feel…” not “you made me feel …”

The outcome. What is the result or outcome you want from this? What do you want to change, improve, stop or continue? Be clear about what you want so they can understand and know what they need to do to change or keep doing.

Once you have given feedback, allow them to respond. Have they understood what you have said? Learn to listen actively to what they say. [Contact me if you need information on Active Listening Skills].

Constructive feedback is more difficult to give than positive feedback but both forms need to be effective. Plan your feedback. Why are you giving feedback, when and where will you give it. It may take only need a few seconds or a few minutes.

Maintain a balance when you give feedback. Make sure that you let people know what they doing well and where they can make improvements.

If you would like additional information on providing feedback, active listening or how to deal with difficult situations please contact me to arrange a specific session to discuss this in more detail.

About the Author:

Clare works with busy individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively.

Register to receive free Weekly Time Tips at www.clareevans.co.uk and receive her free monthly newsletter.

Copyright 2005: Clare Evans. Reprint permission by request. Do not alter the content and include the resource box without modification. You may format the layout of the article for proper display of the article in your website or in your ezine.

There are certain foods that contain high amounts of beneficial substances - antioxidant vitamins and minerals and beta-carotene that can help eliminate toxins, boost the immune system and help protect against cancer.

Apples & Pears - yes, the good old apple. These are full of vitamins and minerals and are great for cleansing, good for the skin and the immune system. Pears are high in iodine which can help thyroid function. Apples are good for reducing cholesterol and inflammation.

Bananas - has got to be one of the best all round foods. A great snack to boost your energy and easily digested. A good source of protein and fibre, high in potassium, a natural antibiotic and mildly sedative so good for helping you sleep and with PMS.

Beans & Lentils - a good source of protein for veggies and non-veggies alike. They provide a steady source of energy and contain plant oestrogens which can help stabilize PMS and are even used as an alternative to HRT. They are high in minerals and good for cleansing, lowering blood pressure and cholesterol levels.

Red(dish) things - Berries: strawberries, raspberries, blackberries etc.. - high in antioxidants so good for the immune system. Beetroot: cleanses and boosts the immune system, high in antioxidants. Carrots: great for cleansing, high in Vitamin A, good for the skin, best eaten raw. Peppers: high in vitamin C and other antioxidant vitamins, good source of zinc, good for the immune system, magnesium - good for energy. Tomatoes: high in water so good for hydration, lower heart disease, high in antioxidants good for the immune system, lycopene found in cooked tomatoes is good for cancer prevention.

Green stuff - Broccoli: high in vitamins (esp. B and folic acid), minerals and antioxidants, good for cleansing the liver and contains substances that help fight cancer. Cabbage: good for the digestive system, rich in minerals esp. potassium and phosphorus. Spinach: a powerful cleanser, good for the immune system, high in calcium - good for bones, teeth and gums, iron - good for the blood, potassium - regulates high blood pressure.

Garlic - good for infections such as colds, antiviral, antiseptic and antibiotic. Reduces cholesterol and is great for boosting the immune system, cleansing the liver and improving the circulation.

Nuts & Seeds - although nuts can be high in calories, they’re also high in protein and antioxidant vitamin E, zinc and selenium. Good for an energy snack - best raw not roasted. Seeds - rich in Omega-3 and 6 and a variety of vitamins and minerals, good for the skin, heart disease, cleansing and the immune system.

Oats - highly nutritious, easily digested and a good source of slow-release energy. Try porridge for breakfast with berry fruits. Good for bones and teeth with high levels of calcium and phosphorus. Good for the nervous system and have a relaxing effect, also help to stabilize blood sugar levels and reduce cholesterol.

Oily Fish - such as salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines. High in Omega-3 fatty acids. Good for memory and general brain function, heart disease and inflammatory skin conditions as improving dry skin. High in selenium which detoxifies and protects against cancer.

Soya - like other beans a good source of protein. Reduces blood pressure and cholesterol and good for fighting cancer. Contains plant oestrogens good for hormone related problems in women such as PMS and the menopause. Tofu is high in calcium and iron good for bone health and the circulation.

Yams & Sweet potatoes - good for slow energy release. Contain plant oestrogens so good for those hormone related problems again. High in antioxidant vitamins and minerals good for eliminating heavy metals. Protect against heart disease, cancer and good for the circulation. High in vitamin E which is good for the skin. Minerals such as calcium, magnesium, potassium good for bones, teeth and gums.

Yoghurt - buy only the live, natural version, not the ones full of sugar! Good source of protein and calcium. Easily digested and good for the digestive system, boosts the levels of friendly bacteria especially after antibiotics. Protects the immune system and good for urinary and yeast infection.

Buy fresh, local organic food whenever possible. Organic fruit and vegetables have a higher level of minerals and no residual insecticides or pesticides. I’m off for a healthy breakfast of muesli or possibly porridge and a topping of all the above - well, maybe just the berries!

For additional information on Health and Nutrition visit my website.

About the Author:

Clare works with busy, stressed individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively.

Register to receive free Weekly Time Tips at www.clareevans.co.uk and receive her free monthly newsletter.

Copyright 2005: Clare Evans. Reprint permission by request. Do not alter the content and include the resource box without modification. You may format the layout of the article for proper display of the article in your website or in your ezine.

Get Ready

The first step is to prepare yourself mentally. Make a conscious decision to remember all the names of the people you are about to meet.

Listen

When you’re about to be introduced to someone, listen carefully and CONCENTRATE! How often does it go in one ear and out the other because we’re not really listening or our thoughts are elsewhere?

Repeat

If you miss it, ask them to repeat it. When you first hear someone’s name, repeat it straight away, “Good to meet you John” and try to use it three times during your conversation, “So, tell me John …” and when you leave, “Thank-you, John, it was good to meet you … If you realise you’ve forgotten their name by the time you come to end the conversation – politely ask them again? This will help reinforce their name in your mind. If it’s an unusual name ask how it’s spelled.

Association

The easiest way to remember someone’s name is by association.

· Do they remind you of anyone? A friend, relative, work colleague, actor or well-known person, living or dead?

· Do they have the same first name as someone you know? Does their first name or surname create an image in your mind?

· What type of person do they look like – a lawyer, an accountant, a typical …salesman, teacher … (what’s typical to you will be different from someone else, use your association)?

· Does their name link directly to an occupation in which case the image is easier to form – Baker, Gardner, Porter etc.

Create a picture

Now create an image with as many of the elements as possible – the person who they remind you of, a location, the image of their surname and the person you know with the same first name. Make it as visual, colourful, bizarre and as detailed as possible.

For example Michael White – reminds you of an accountant, visualise him with a massive ‘white’ calculator, pouring over a pile of papers and account books, surrounded by large, colourful numbers.

David Brooks reminds you of Woody Allen and has the same name as your Uncle David – visualise your Uncle David in ‘Manhattan’ dancing around in a ‘brook’ that meanders between the buildings.

Another obvious association is between someone’s name and a physical feature or trait. The shape of their face, a distinguishing part such as eyes, ears, chin, nose, hair colour etc. Alan Blackburn has big black sideburns (does that translate?). So emphasis the image – see your friend Alan (also called Alan) with big black sideburns or a large ‘allen’ key with great big Black sideburns.

The first thing you think of is the strongest association – use this, it will make it easier to recall later.

Practice

This might sound like a very long-winded and lengthy approach but the brain is amazingly fast, efficient and brilliant at recognising images. The more you practice, the faster you will get at making associations and the easier it will become. The brain works more effectively with images and the more bizarre they are the more likely you are to recall the information.

Try not to link the image to their clothing or something they are wearing such as jewellery, especially if you are likely to meet them again. They are highly unlikely to be wearing the same thing when/if you next meet them.

If you’re with a group of people for a whole day, linking to clothing can work while you get to know them better. It helps to keep recalling their names throughout the day and using their name when in conversation with them.

OK, my examples may not do it for you but hopefully you get the idea.

If you get introduced to more than one person at a time, for instance in a group, take your time, scan each face and find the association. The more you do it the faster you’ll become and the easier the associations will be to find.

Review

Another important key to remembering names and faces is to review them regularly. When you’re at a meeting or social event, you can briefly scan the faces in the room and recall the names. The more often you do this, the more likely you are to remember them. When you get home, recall their face. If you have their business card, recall their face linked to their card and if possible do the same the following day and a week later to get it into longer-term memory.

The more often you associate the face with the name, the more likely you are to remember them the next time you meet them. You know how good it feels when someone actually remembers your name and people are always flattered when you do.

Use these ideas and with a little practice you need never forget a name again.

About the Author:

Clare works with busy, stressed individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively.

Register to receive her free monthly newsletter at www.clareevans.co.uk and receive free tips on managing your time.

Copyright 2005: Clare Evans. Reprint permission by request. Do not alter the content and include the resource box without modification. You may format the layout of the article for proper display of the article in your website or in your ezine.

It doesn’t have to be a long, detailed business plan, unless you’re planning to seek funding from a financial institution. Your business plan can be as short or as long as you like and in whatever format you prefer that will capture the essence of your business and what you plan to achieve.

Businesses that actually write down their plan with specific goals, objectives, strategies and tasks are more likely to achieve their goal and be successful.

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”

You need to know the why, what, when, where, who and how for your business. While this might seem daunting when you’re just starting out your document is dynamic and will grow and evolve and your business grows.

Don’t write it, stick it on a shelf and never refer to it again. It will help you to plan and schedule to create a successful business.

Review it monthly. How are you doing in working towards your goals, what changes from month to month, year to year?

Use the following basic elements to build a business plan in one day.

1. Your Vision, Purpose, Mission.

Vision - an overall statement of what is possible for your business.

Purpose - What is the purpose of your business and why does it exist?

Mission - How do you plan to achieve your vision and purpose?

2. Your objectives.

Include biographical data about yourself, your business objectives and how you will succeed. Your goals for the business and different ways you will create income.

3. Your Customers.

Who is your target market?
Where are they?
How many of them are there?
How many do you need for your business?
What do you know about them?
How do they perceive your services?
What is the growth rate of this market?

4. Your Barriers.

Are there any current legal, ethical issues?
How will the current economic climate affect you?

5. Your Competition.

Who are your competitors?
How does your business compare to your competitors?
On what basis are you competing?
How do you differ from your competitors?
How will your customers see the difference?

6. Your Prospective Clients.

How will you market yourself?
How will you deliver your service?
How will you differentiate yourself in the market?
Do you have a brand?
What makes you unique?

7. Your success.

Why will you be successful in your business?
What skills, experience and attitude do you have to enable you to succeed?

8. Tools and Technology.

What tools and technology will you use to make your business successful?

Newsletter
Web site
Service delivery
Telephone services

9. Financial projection.

How will the financial flow of your business take place. What revenue do you need in order to cover your expenses and achieve a profitable margin.

Capital - how much do you have to invest to start your business.
Survival income - how long can you survive without income?
Start-up cost - what do you need? (if needed).
What are your monthly business expenses?
What other income do you have?

10. Long-term view.

What will your business look like in three-five years time? How will you respond to changes in the market, trends etc?

What other products or services might impact you?
How will your financial forecast change - improve or reduce?
How is your business structured to allow you to adapt and change?

Summary

Extract the key information from each section and create an Executive Summary at the beginning of the document.

Gather any information you need to create one page maximum on each of the essential elements. Note down your ideas and gather any additional information you need to complete each section. Is there anything missing?

The One Page Business Plan!

OK - so even that’s too much? If you’d like an even simpler one page business plan, email me at info@clareevans.co.uk and I’ll be happy to send you a template you can use.

About the Author:

Clare works with busy, stressed individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively.

Register to receive her free monthly newsletter at www.clareevans.co.uk and receive free tips on managing your time.

Copyright 2005: Clare Evans. Reprint permission by request. Do not alter the content and include the resource box without modification. You may format the layout of the article for proper display of the article in your website or in your ezine.

When it comes to money we tend to fall into one of three main categories: spend less than we earn, spend what we earn, spend more than we earn.

Create some good financial habits by taking a look at where you are now. Where would you like to be? Follow these tips to help you get there.

Keep a money diary for a week. It can be surprising where all the ‘cash’ goes. You probably don’t really think about it on a daily basis. After all you probably just go to the bank when you need more and if you’re lucky and your account is still in credit, you get what you request. But what exactly do you spend it on? Where does it all go?

Keeping a money diary can help you get an idea of the flow of your cash out of your bank account. Whether it’s cash, cheques, cards or just those monthly bills.

Get a small notebook, carry it with you and write down every single thing you spend, as soon as you spend it, every day for the next week. Every bill, standing order, newspaper, snack, bus fare, coffee …

Your monthly expenditure. Work out what you spend monthly on everything: rent/mortgage, utility bills, food and essentials, meals out, entertaining, clothes, holidays, presents, credit card repayments etc. etc.

Gather together all your salary slips, receipts, bank statements, credit card statements, details of loan payments, mortgage, you money diary, etc… - anything which shows money coming in and money going out. Include any direct debits or standing orders from your bank accounts.

Including the basics, compare your total outgoings with your income. Where’s the fit? Are you overspending?

Create an Emergency Survival Fund. How much do you need to pay for the basics like mortgage, rent, insurance, bills, food and car each month? Aim to save at least three times your basic monthly outgoing that you need to survive.

Should the worst happen and you lose your job, go sick for a period of time or decide to have a change of career, you will have a financial cushion to support you. Place it somewhere with easy access but with

Reduce Your Debts. How much is your debt actually costing you? Decide that today is the day you’re going to take responsibility and you put yourself in a much better position to do something about it. What would you rather be spending that money on?

How many debts do you have - loans, outstanding credit cards etc? What interest are you paying on them and over how long? How many payments are outstanding and how much will you end up paying in total?

If you can create some spare income each month can you put it towards ‘busting’ some of your debt.

Save 10% of your income. Pay yourself first. As a minimum put aside at least 10% of your monthly salary. Set up an automatic payment straight out of your bank account into a savings account.

Initially, place it somewhere with easy access, preferably earning the highest rate of interest available. Never under the mattress! You never know when you might need it and you’re starting to invest in your future. The only way to get rich is to save and invest! Start thinking long-term for your savings - five years or more, not just saving for the next holiday.

Become a Savvy Buyer. Always take a little bit of time and effort to shop around for the best deals - don’t just buy the first thing that comes along. How often do you check out the best deals available for insurance, mortgage, fuel, credit cards? Check out all the brokers and online insurance companies for the best quote.

Use cost comparison sites such as www.kelkoo.com or www.dealtime.com. You can also save money by switching to a different energy supplier via sites such as www.uswitch.com.

Get Sound Financial Advice. While you can discover a certain amount from newspapers, magazines and the Internet, it’s always worth discussing your financial requirements with someone who knows what they’re talking about.

Talk to a Financial Advisor. They usually offer a variety of products from different companies. Find someone by recommendation or have an informal chat with one or two, to find someone you feel comfortable with.

Make sure you are clear about what you want from your investments. Are you looking for growth, future security or an income? Your requirements may change over time.

Use these tips and you’re sure to get better control of your money.

You can download a free extract of my ebook More Month Than Money at http://www.clareevans.co.uk

About the Author:

Clare works with busy, stressed individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively.

Register to receive her free monthly newsletter at www.clareevans.co.uk and receive free tips on managing your time.

Copyright 2005: Clare Evans. Reprint permission by request. Do not alter the content and include the resource box without modification. You may format the layout of the article for proper display of the article in your website or in your ezine.

The only way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more. If you want a diet for life then you need to adjust your eating habits.

Water. If you’re thirsty you’re already dehydrated. If you feel hungry, you may actually be thirsty. The majority of us don’t drink as much as we should during the day. If you drink tea and coffee to keep you going these have a diuretic effect, so you should be drinking water to compensate.
Have a glass of water first thing in the morning and last thing at night - your body loses a lot of water while you’re asleep - not only if it’s warm and you sweat a lot but just sleeping for 8 hours (if you’re lucky) you’re going to wake up dehydrated.

Fruit & Veg. Fruit and vegetables provide you with vitamins, minerals and fibre to help keep your body healthy. They’re high in anti-oxidants and good for keeping your insides healthy.
Do you manage five a day? Eat a piece of fruit or drink fresh juice for breakfast. Better still take up juicing (see below). Fresh berries on muesli or porridge or cereal. Have fruit as a snack during the day and salad and vegetables with your main meals.

Avoid processed food. With the increased reliance on ready-prepared meals, take-aways and convenience food to save time, there is an increase in the amount of processed food that people eat.

Before you buy that convenience meal - check the label. How much sugar, salt, hydrogenated fat, E preservatives, colouring does it contain? Because it’s processed - a lot of the flavour and goodness is lost and has to be added in the form of colourings, flavours and bulking agents. Because it needs to survive transport with a long shelf-life and cooking fats and preservatives are added.
And how much does it really cost? Cooking simple meals such as stir-fries and casseroles are just as convenient and so much better for you.

Juice. One great way to kick-start your day and gently wake up your digestive system, is to have a fresh juice every morning. I don’t mean the orange juice with your breakfast but fresh vegetable juices. Invest in a good juicer, buy local organic produce and find out how good fresh juice is. A simple daily mixture is apple, carrot, celery, ginger and lemon.

Fish. Eat fish at least once a week. It contains healthy Omega 3 oils which are good for your joints, and nerves. Flax and hemp oils offer an alternative for non-fish eaters.

Eat regularly. Get into the habit of eating breakfast. Your body has been without food over night - break the fast with a glass of warm water, then have a fresh juice (see above). Eat a breakfast of cereal, muesli or porridge (avoid those loaded with salt and sugar).

Try to eat every 2-3 hours throughout the day - little and often - to avoid your blood sugar fluctuating too much. Don’t eat a heavy meal late in the evening. Your body will naturally be slowing down and it will be harder to digest.

Alcohol. There’s nothing wrong with the odd glass of wine, in fact these days it’s seen to be healthy for the anti-oxidants. Alcohol causes your kidney’s and liver to work overtime to rid the body of the toxins.

Know what you’re eating. Be aware of what food you’re putting in your body. Read the food labels if you buy tinned, processed food to be aware of how much salt, sugar and fat is in the food you buy. Buy organic meat whenever possible to avoid the steroids, hormones and anti-biotics that are in factory farmed meat.

Balanced diet. One of the most important ways to improve your eating habits is to have a balanced diet with plenty of fruit and vegetables, whole food, fish and meat, nuts and seeds. Everything in moderation. Keep fatty and sugary foods low but if you enjoy chocolate, cakes and curries there’s nothing wrong with having one once in a while.

Think about 80/20. Eat healthily 80% of the time and enjoy yourself the other 20%!

If you’d like help in putting some structure in place to create a healthier lifestyle then contact me for a consultation.

About the Author:

Clare works with busy, stressed individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively.

Do you want to discover how to plan, prioritise and delegate, organise your perfect life, organise it effectively and enjoy the process? Spend your time doing what matters and stop worrying about the things that don’t.

Register to receive her free monthly newsletter at www.clareevans.co.uk or send an email to claresnews@aweber.com and receive free tips on managing your time.

Copyright 2005: Clare Evans. Reprint permission by request. Do not alter the content and include the resource box without modification. You may format the layout of the article for proper display of the article in your website or in your ezine.

If you’ve recently experienced loss or are going through a time of high-stress or uncertainty, it’s important that you make a special effort to look after yourself. Here are a few things you can do to care for yourself physically and emotionally:

- Take time out. If you can get away from your usual environment then do so. Go away for the weekend or even a day - do something different or something you enjoy and do it just for you.

- Spend time with people you care about. Your friends and family know you best and will be supportive and there for you. It’s wonderful how you find true friends when the chips are down.

- Treat yourself. Get pampered or whatever allows you to indulge yourself. Book a relaxing massage, get retail therapy, savour a glass of your favourite wine or spend a whole day reading a book.

- Look after your body. At times of stress our eating habits change. We’re more likely to reach for packaged or convenience foods. Buy fresh fruit and vegetables and provide your body with the vitamins and minerals it needs to be able to deal with the stress. Your immune system takes a bashing under stress so look after it as your more susceptible to illness.

- Exercise. It’s a great way to get those endorphins going which can help lift your mood and as I mentioned in my newsletter - solvitas perambulum - solve it while you walk. The rhythm of exercise and breathing gives your mind time to think. As it’s summer go outdoors and take in some sunshine while you’re at it.

- Don’t overdo the caffeine or alcohol. It might give you a temporary buzz but it will affect your sleep and you need to ensure you’re getting plenty of that too.

- Write it down. Sometimes it can help to write down our thoughts and feelings on paper. It gets them out there and out of our head and when put into black and white it can take some of the emotion out or put them into perspective.

- Do something positive. Don’t indulge yourself for too long but give yourself something to look forward to. Arrange to go to a concert, film, theatre, a weekend away. Keep yourself moving forward. Set yourself little tasks everyday.

- Volunteer. There’s nothing more uplifting that doing something for someone else. Take yourself out of your head for a few hours and feel the benefit of helping others.

- PMA - Positive Mental Attitude. What can you learn from this experience? Instead of focusing on the negative, what’s a positive outcome for your situation?

- Relaxation - learn to relax. Whether it’s doing something like yoga, meditation or just simple breathing techniques - take a few minutes each day to quiet your mind. (Drop me an email if you’d like some ideas on relaxation techniques.)

- Take Action. Yes, that ‘A’ word again. What one thing can you do to change where you’re at? Go and do it!

What’s your coping mechanism? How do you deal with stress? Learn to recognise and deal with stress before it builds up by looking after yourself on a regular basis not just when things get too much.

If you’d like to learn more or need support recognising and dealing with stress then contact me directly.

About the Author:

Clare works with busy, stressed individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively.

Do you want to discover how to plan, prioritise and delegate, organise your perfect life, organise it effectively and enjoy the process? Spend your time doing what matters and stop worrying about the things that don’t.

Register to receive her free monthly newsletter at www.clareevans.co.uk or send an email to claresnews@aweber.com and receive free tips on managing your time.

Copyright 2005: Clare Evans. Reprint permission by request. Do not alter the content and include the resource box without modification. You may format the layout of the article for proper display of the article in your website or in your ezine.

Whenever we experience change we all go through a natural response curve that will vary according to speed and intensity from person to person.

Essentially there are six main stages to this curve.

Shock and Denial - often when we first hear the news or are impacted by change we experience shock, denial, confusion, fear, numbness and blame. How often do you hear people say “I can’t believe this is happening” or appear cold, unemotional and not react when they first hear the news?

Anger/Resistance - this often follows on after the initial shock. Frustration, anxiety, irritation, embarrassment and shame. Wanting to take it out on someone else or blame someone for the situation you’re in.

Dialogue/Bargaining - as we start to come to terms with the situation we are more likely to be able to talk about it. Often the healing part of the process happens when we are willing to talk about what’s happened. It really does help. Many people who have been through change and emotional upheaval find it helps to share their experience with others either in a support group or with a professional.

Depression - at the bottom of the curve comes a sense of overwhelm and helplessness. This may result in a complete inability to function and no energy or motivation to do anything. People may withdraw into themselves - physically and mentally and switch off emotionally.

Acceptance - when you’re ready to move on you are more able to accept what has happened, start to explore new options and put plans in place for the future. It becomes easier to think more positively and this in itself has a beneficial effect.

Return to normality - while ‘normality’ may not be possible in some cases of loss, once you have accepted the situation, moving forward to a more secure and meaningful existence is once again possible.

What you also find is that you will swing to and fro within the change curve and may pass through certain stages more quickly than others. Some people stay stuck at a particular point because they don’t know how to move on and this can hold them back for months and even years and stops them from moving on. You may also find yourself going backward as you adjust to the change before finally being able to move forward.

If you’re going through a period of change - I hope that this helps you to recognise where you are and that it’s OK to feel all these emotions. If you’re having trouble dealing with a significant change and what’s significant to you may not be significant to others - then don’t be afraid to put your hand up and ask for help and support. That may be from your partner, friends or a professional. The quicker you learn to deal with your emotions, the quicker you will be able to move on and grow stronger as a result.

About the Author:

Clare works with busy, stressed individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively.

Do you want to learn how to prioritise, plan and delegate, organise your perfect life, organise it effectively and enjoy the process? Spend your time doing what matters and stop worrying about the things that don’t.

Register to receive her free monthly newsletter at www.clareevans.co.uk or send an email to claresnews@aweber.com and receive free tips on managing your time.

Copyright 2005: Clare Evans. Reprint permission by request. Do not alter the content and include the resource box without modification. You may format the layout of the article for proper display of the article in your website or in your ezine.

Find out which area of your life needs attention and focus on that first and see how great your life could be.

One way to assess how you’re doing, is to score each of the following eight areas out of 10. If any one of these is seriously out of balance it’s likely you’ll be tired, stressed and unhappy.

Health - being fit, healthy and well.
Are you a healthy weight for your height? How physically active are you - do you take regular exercise? Do you have a healthy diet - limited intake of sugar, caffeine, alcohol and processed food? When was the last time you visited the dentist, got your eyes tested, checked your blood pressure?

Money - having enough to meet your needs.
Do you know what it is that you need on a monthly basis? Do you have any large credit card bills or loans? Do you save 10% of you income? How well do you manage your expenses, investments and savings? Would you like to have financial independence?

Personal Growth - get to know yourself better.
What steps could you take this year to increase your own personal development? What behaviour would you like to change? Is there something that you’d like to learn to do better?

Partner/Relationship - being happy with where you are.
If you’re not currently in a relationship are you happy with where you are? If you are in a relationship do you have your partner’s needs as a priority and do you know what these needs are? How much time do you spend with your partner? Are you able to communicate effectively?

Fun/Social Life - having time to relax and enjoy yourself.
How regularly do you take time out for yourself to go and do something you really enjoy? This is one area of our life, which can get out of balance when we spend too much time at work. Arrange to do something this week to increase your fun.

Career/Business - enjoying your work.
Is your job enjoyable and fulfilling? Do you have a plan in place to improve your career/business prospects, gain promotion or plan your retirement? How are your working relationships with your boss, colleagues and others around you? Get to know what makes them tick - after all they’re people too.

Friends/Family - spending time with your friends and family.
How often do you see your family? Who haven’t you spoken to recently that you’ve been meaning to call? Who could you talk to right now? How could you spend more time with your friends?

Physical Environment - enjoying the surroundings in which you live.
What you come home to has an important effect on how you feel day to day. If you’ve got lots of unfinished jobs around the house or you’re not happy with where or how you live, look at what you could do to change it. Pick one outstanding task and aim to do it by the end of the week.

If you score less that 4 in any area, focus on that area first. What action could you take to make a change? What would it take to score a 9-10 in every area?

To get further support and advice and a visual representation of your very own Life Balance Wheel contact me.

About the Author:

Clare works with busy, stressed individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively.

Do you want to learn how to prioritise, plan and delegate, organise your perfect life, organise it effectively and enjoy the process? Spend your time doing what matters and stop worrying about the things that don’t.

Register to receive her free monthly newsletter at www.clareevans.co.uk or send an email to claresnews@aweber.com and receive free tips on managing your time.

Copyright 2005: Clare Evans. Reprint permission by request. Do not alter the content and include the resource box without modification. You may format the layout of the article for proper display of the article in your website or in your ezine.

So you think you know what’s going on……but trust me, you don’t. In fact, none of us do. We’re very visual creatures, and although this seems to be a great measure for what is and what isn’t - “I’ll believe it when I see it” - consider this:

We can’t see (and don’t know) what makes up most of the universe
We can’t see most of life on our planet
We can’t trust much of what’s in our mind
We can’t see much of what drives our behaviour
Feeling dizzy yet? Let me quickly take you through the four points above.

The Universe
No matter how they cut the data, scientists can’t figure out most of what makes up the universe. By some calculations, they’re 99% short of the stuff they need to make sense of the universe we’re in. The missing mass was first named by the Swiss Astronomer Fritz Zwicky as “dark matter” - a fabulously poetic name.

The two main explanations of what makes up dark matter prove, if nothing else, that some scientists have a sense of humour. They’re either WIMPs (Weakly Interacting Massive Particles, i.e. specks of invisible matter left over from the Big Bang) or MACHOs (Massive Compact Halo Objects - i.e. black holes and very dim stars that don’t reflect enough life for us to see them).

Life on our Planet
In Bill Bryson’s book A Short History of Nearly Everything, he mentions that the vast majority of life - perhaps as high as 80% - is invisible. This became most apparent when, in 1976, microbiologist Carl Woese redrew the so called “tree of life” with twenty-three main domains. The entire visible world - plants, animals, and fungi - represents just three of the twenty-three branches. Most of the rest are microbes. As Bryson puts it, most of life is “small, unicellular and unfamiliar.”

Dodgy Memory
If you feel your memory is going on you, it may not just be a sign of increasing age. A good deal of what you remember may be false. In Diane Ackerman’s Alchemy of the Mind, she quotes some fascinating studies done to show how unreliable memory is.

Ulric Neisser of Cornell University tested memory by asking people for their memories the day after the space shuttle Challenger exploded. Three years later he surveyed them again, and about two-thirds were totally wrong about where they heard the news, when, with whom and so on. And more tellingly, they were totally confident that they could remember the details correctly. (Neisser also found that if you tell a story about an event, you’re more likely to remember it. Narrative, one of the brain’s key strategies, helps engrave memory).

Our Shadow
The final realm of darkness is within - the Jungian shadow. This is a complex and fascinating area, and one to which I can do no justice in a single paragraph. But to attempt to sum it up, Jung argues that we all have parts of ourselves that are unclaimed, elements of who we are that for one reason or another we’ve decided to disown.

One of Carl Jung’s insights is that it is through embracing and incorporating our shadow that we become whole. As he said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious.” There’s a lot of good stuff written in this area, one of the most accessible being Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers.

Action Acceleration challenge
Think of something that’s challenging you right now, something you’d like to get unstuck on.
What are you not seeing?
If you step back from the situation, float above it at 30,000 feet, what do you notice?
What do you now see that you couldn’t see before? What are new factors? How do you sense this will end?
If you step up to it, pick up a single piece of it and study it closely, what do you notice? What do you now see that you couldn’t before? What are the new factors? What are you most curious about?
What role are you playing in this? What part of yourself are you not acknowledging in this? The greedy, arrogant, scared, angry, controlling side? The weak, pathetic, confused, scared side? The compassionate, gentle, leader, inspirational side?
Now: having gone through that process, what’s the one action you’re going to take as a result?
You can download the Action Acceleration Sheet™ for free and use it to work through your action challenge.

About Michael Bungay Stanier
Michael Bungay Stanier is a professional keynote speaker and author of the best selling coaching tool, Get Unstuck & Get Going …on the stuff that matters, available at Get Unstuck and Get Going. A certified coach and Rhodes Scholar, he offers coach training programs and business coaching services to coaches, trainers, teams and organizations to help them get unstuck and get going on the stuff that matters. Sign up for Michael’s free Outside the Lines ezine.

Copyright 2005 Michael Bungay Stanier, Box of Crayons. Reprint permission available by request. Article must be complete and must include all contact information above. Apply to info@BoxOfCrayons.biz